The typical way of celebrating Thanksgiving is not in the cards for this year due to the Covid 19 virus, but we can all do our own version, celebrate in a new way. Maybe in spite of, or maybe because of the virus and all the other troubles we have seen in 2020, counting our blessings and giving thanks seems more urgent. A neighbor of mine celebrated Halloween by decorating the front yard with ghosts, jack-0-lanters and a gravestone inscribed “RIP 2020.”
So, here it goes, my list of things and people I am thankful for:
My family – small in number and widely scattered, we still stay in touch
My Guy- I’m so glad we found each other!
My critique group – writing is a solitary activity and being able to share that process is necessary in order to keep going
Every grocery clerk, shelf-stocker, farm worker, truck driver and restaurant worker. They are all truly amazing.
Gardeners, plumbers, carpenters, retail workers
Every public health worker, doctors, nurses, janitors, nurse’s aids, office receptionists
Teachers, school office workers, custodians, bus drivers
Small business owners and clerks of all types.
People who voted and helped us realize that we still live in a democracy.
Let’s hope that 2021 will see us move forward. We have a tremendous amount of re-building to do, but we will succeed.
This nation has been through a lot of traumatic events in its relatively short history. To name a few: colonialism, slavery, The Revolutionary War, The Civil War, WW I, WW II, Vietnam, The Gulph War, 911, Afghanistan and numerous financial ups and downs.
There are those who take advantage of the truly reasonable fear that accompanies traumatic events. In an effort to increase and sustain their power and popularity, they often resort to exaggeration and outright lies. Their actions threaten the very foundation of our country.
Here are some examples of those who qualify as members of the American Rogues’ Gallery –
Fritz Julius Kuhn (1986-1951) – A naturalized U. S. Citizen in 1934, he previously served in the German Army in WW I. His organization, Friends of the New Germany, attracted thousands of German Americans in the time leading up to WW II. He mirrored Nazi party propaganda (antisemitic and pro-German) and he styled his “meetings” along the lines of the large gatherings in Nazi Germany. Sent to prison in 1939 for embezzlement, he was later charged with more serious crimes. In 1943, his U.S. citizenship was revoked and he was deported from Sing-Sing Prison to Germany in 1945.
Walter Winchell (1897-1972) – A New York Gossip columnist who evolved into a political power-house. He eventually became a firm supporter and friend of the notorious Senator Joe McCarthy. He used his very popular radio show, newspaper column and television show to support McCarthy’s witch-hunt, in the process destroying the reputations and livelihoods of many innocent Americans.
Senator Joe McCarthy (1908-1957) – In the middle of the cold war, Senator McCarthy rose to prominence after a speech in 1950 when he declared two-hundred-five communists had infiltrated the State Department. This was a time of great and understandable fear in the U.S. of the rise of communism and in particular of the Soviet Union, in the aftermath of WW II. Senator McCarthy, unable to prove his assertions, resorted to increasingly outrageous accusations. In 1954, he was condemned by his fellow senators and his reign of terror ended. He died in 1957.
In some cases, but not all, these individuals began with good intentions. Senator McCarthy was seen by some as a patriot. But as time went by, it became apparent that their main concern was securing their own positions of power, both political and financial. Motivations of patriotism and public service fell by the wayside and personal gain took over.
We survived these challenges, but if we respond to today’s challenges by allowing our fears to stampede us into making rash, ill-informed decisions, there will be a rough road ahead.
I drive a mid-sized sedan, not too big, not so small. It looks good, drives well, gets great mileage and has all the bells and whistles I like. In the past few yeas the percentage of sedans produced has diminished; far more trucks and SUVs are sold.
If you look at any parking lot, you will see the results of that trend. Look closely and you will notice that there are sedans and small cars interspersed. These sedans and small cars are often completely surrounded by SUVs in spaces known as SUV Canyons.
If you observe for a few more minutes, you will notice SUVs and trucks barreling down the aisles of those parking lots. Until recently, barreling SUVS were seen primarily in the parking lots of home improvement stores. But now the phenomenon has spread and can be found everywhere, including grocery store parking lots.
Earlier this week, I went to my local grocery store. In order to avoid parking in an SUV Canyon, I have developed two parking strategies for what I call Defensive Parking. If the parking lot is not particularly crowded, I park next to the grocery cart return area, or next to a tree at the end of one of the aisles. This insures my car will not be blocked on three sides by large vehicles, increasing the probability I will be able to back out without being creamed by an on-coming SUV. If the parking lot is crowded, I search for a place where I can park facing out. Even if you find yourself embedded in an SUV Canyon, when you face out, you can usually maneuver out of the space and avoid being creamed if you move slowly.
On this particular visit, the parking lot was not very crowded, so I adopted the first strategy and parked next to a tree. There were two vacant spaces to my left. When I came back, the two spaces were still vacant. I got in, started the car, put it in reverse and looked back. A large, gray SUV pulled in behind me. I waited for the vehicle to pass, but the driver began a Y turn. i was blocked in. The driver then backed into the space next to me on the left.
The driver gave me a big smile, then opened the driver’s side door and squeezed out of the SUV. I rolled my window down and said “Your car is blocking my view.”
She replied, “Of course it is. My car is bigger than yours. This is a public parking lot and I can park wherever I want.” She turned and flounced off.
Rather than pointing out that it was not a public lot, but a lot owned by the store, I called out in my best “school-marm” voice, “You are a very impolite person!”
Silly though this exchange was, for some reason, I could not let it go. She was thoughtless. She could have waited the additional ten seconds it would have taken me to back out of the parking space before she jammed her over-sized vehicle into the too-small space. But she didn’t. She did it Because She Could.
This driver is certainly not the only one who embraces the maxim, “Do It Because You Can.” Maybe a good part of our current public discontent is the prevalence of the belief that you should be able to do whatever you wish, because you can. Maybe it would be a better place to live if we remember that “Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
Those of us who have lost a loved one due to a terminal illness may have witnessed the amazing support hospice workers provide to patients and their care-givers. It is hard to imagine how it would feel to face death without this support, particularly if you are alone and living on the street. But this is the fate of many of the homeless. Due to our government’s chaotic and illogical response to COVID 19, homelessness is likely to become a reality for many more.
My friend, singer/songwriter/musician Danny Schneider, has taken this situation to heart. To support the efforts of Joshua House Hospice for the homeless in Sacramento, California, he has written and recorded an album entitled The Other Side Of The Window. A signed, limited, edition of one hundred is now available on line. The cost – a one-hundred-dollar donation to Joshua House. Danny’s goal is to raise ten-thousand-dollars to go toward construction and operational expenses. All proceeds from the album go directly to Joshua House.
This will be the first hospice for the homeless on the west coast. Granted, one hospice facility for the homeless is not enough, but it is a critical beginning.
You can find more information about Danny and Joshua House and donate, at http://www.dannyschneider.com or at Danny Schneider – Rockin Original Music. Please visit.
*From Let There Be Peace On Earth by Jill Jackson and Sy Miller
You know, you’ve seen her; the one running her cart down the aisle ignoring the one-way only stickers on the floor, muttering something under her breath and grousing at the store clerks.
This morning, while shopping, I had to repress the impulse to tap my foot while waiting for a woman to move away from the lettuce. I thought she had been there long enough (at least 20 minutes!), and I needed lettuce! But rather than moving on, I waited, my irritation growing.
When you are wearing a mask, the only clue to your mood is body language, such as foot tapping or eye rolling. Fortunately, I was wearing my shades, so no one noticed my almost constant eye-rolling when I encountered someone I felt was thwarting me! (and there were so many!)
I blame all of this on the COVID19 Isolation and mask wearing. It is part of human nature to resent loss of convenience. We hate to have our routines disturbed. After all, routines help us feel we’ve accomplished something, that we haven’t wasted our precious time. It indicates we are productive, smart and wise. None of this is necessarily true, of course, but it is a comforting thought.
When I returned from my shopping trip, I found myself a little resentful that I would have to make three trips to the car to get all of the groceries into the kitchen. That’s when it finally hit me – I was fully That Lady – irritable, grouchy and completely out of line. I didn’t like it.
We are the fortunate ones. Those working on the COVID 19 front lines, health care workers, police and fire, grocery store clerks, delivery people, farm workers, truck drivers, or at numerous other jobs that keep things moving, are suffering far more than we are.
My advice to myself, suck it up and increase contributions to local food banks, so someone else can have the pleasure of having to make three trips to the car to unload the groceries.
I live in a suburban area not too far from a major thoroughfare. Fortunately there are a large number of trees and a nearby creek. Some what secluded, it’s one of those places that, were civilization to suddenly disappear, the resident wildlife would quickly and happily take over the area. In addition to about two hundred homes, there are hundreds of birds, at least one coyote family, skunks, raccoons, gray squirrels and an unknown number of possums.
It is a great place to walk, and due to the stay at home order, lots of dogs are out walking their humans. This morning I ran into a gaggle of adolescent turkeys out on a morning walk with Mom. We often see groups of turkeys on our front lawns. One nearby road even has a Turkey Crossing warning sign.
We are living through a terrible time. It isn’t the result of just one thing, but many things interacting. The less- than- stellar response to the new corona virus and the horrific death of George Floyd have served to highlight the fact that there are social and economic problems that we have failed to address. And the price for those failures has now come due.
In this country, we do have the ability to address our problems, if we so choose. In fearful times, it is more important than ever that we use the powers given to us by our laws and Constitution. One of the most important of those is the right and duty to vote. You probably won’t find a candidate for any particular office you agree with completely (unless you write in your own name); but remember, by not voting, you are giving up your power to someone else – someone that may have positions on critical issues that you cannot support.
(apologies to singer Olivia Newton Johns’ recording of PHYSICAL)
I don’t much care for President Trump. I’ve had a hard time determining whether my dislike stems from his personality or his policies. I didn’t particularly care for former President Lyndon B. Johnson’s personality or all of his policies. I’ve never felt that the main quality of a President should be whether the voter would want to sit down with the candidate and have a beer; nor would I choose a doctor or dentist based on them being a “nice person.” Our current crisis has made it clear to me why I don’t care for President Trump; I don’t like the way he “answers” questions.
During one of the recent press briefings from the Covid 19 task force, one of the reporters asked the President if he had a message for the Americans who are frightened and confused about Covid 19. The President responded by a personal attack on the reporter, chiding him for asking a “nasty question” and asserting that he, (the reporter, not the President), was a terrible reporter. Absolutely no answer was given to the reporter’s question.
Contrast the President’s response to the reporter with one of the members of the Covid19 task force who was also on-stage. A reporter began by quoting three health workers. All three indicated a concern that the protective gear used by health workers was in short supply as were the testing kits. They were worried about the escalating numbers of infected people and the possibility that they would not be able to treat all who needed attention. The profession responded by empathizing with the health workers, then very clearly outlining the best way to get the needed supplies at the local level.
He did not make false promises (e.g. the kits have been shipped). He did not attack the reporter or question the validity of the concern. He accepted the question for what it was – information about how the process looked to those in field, actually dealing with the disease. He treated the question as an opportunity to provide needed information.
In teaching, questions from students are treated as important because they show what students do and do not understand. It provides the teacher an opportunity to clarify and provide additional information so students can learn.
In other words, true adults respond to questions as opportunities.
Less evolved people treat every question as a personal attack.
As a school principal, I once had a conversation with a parent from Ukraine. His child was in my office because he had refused the bus driver’s direction to sit down when the bus was in motion. The boy showed he had mastered at least some of the English language when he swore at the bus driver.
The father was incensed that his son was in trouble. After all, he asserted, the United States was a place where people were strong, assertive and independent. His son didn’t like where he was sitting and wanted to change places. He was just (literally!) standing up for himself, the way any American would. He knew this was the American way, he said, because he watched Westerns on television.
I like to think the discussion that followed led him to disavow his badly skewed view of American Society, but the view of the U.S. society as a collection of self-centered, non-cooperative individuals does persist.
Our current crisis requires cooperation and concern for others, as well as ourselves. We are all connected. No one person or group can survive long-term if we act primarily as individuals.
We do have great expectations of our society. We often claim that Americans can solve any problem, no matter how difficult: but this is true only if we work together. The failure to do so leads to grim reality.
Popular culture is inundated with Super Heroes. D.C. comic re-writes abound. Most Super Heroes emerged as a result of some societal trauma. WWII brought Captain America.
All of the Super Heroes have one thing in common. In one fell swoop they are able to solve problems we, as typical, weak, humans are incapable of solving. The current crop of Super Heroes has evolved to explore “flawed” Super Heroes. What would happen if a Super Hero switched sides and championed evil instead of good? There is even a new TV program this season in the US simply entitled “Evil”.
Too much focus on Super heroes can be toxic. It misleads us into thinking that the picture of everyday people as weak, fearful and incompetent is true.
I have a solution for that tendency – apply the Goldilocks Rule to your viewing and reading habits.
It goes like this:
TOO LITTLE: The complete absence of Super Heroes results in a dull world, devoid of inspiration.
TOO MUCH: The over abundance of Super Heroes and their adversaries leads to despair and a feeling of being unable to cope with even daily problems.
JUST RIGHT: Results in inspiration, minimizes despair, encourages seeing the possibilities rather than focusing on failures. It builds confidence rather than paralyzing fear.
If you are like me, you probably have things you say when you don’t know what to say. For example, I went through a phase where I commented “It is what it is” to almost everything. Of course it is what it is, it can’t be what it isn’t. I realize the phrase has a deeper meaning, but in the shorthand of today, that deeper meaning is usually not conveyed nor understood. We’re left with a shallow saying rather than true communication.
Language is always changing and evolving. Context changes rapidly and that affects meaning. One of my ‘favorite’ sayings illustrates that point- ‘the exception proves the rule.” On the face of it, the phrase is not logical. But, the meaning of the word ‘proves’ has morphed over time. It used to mean ‘tests’, but now we tend to use it to mean ‘support’.
Maybe next time I don’t know what to say, I should remember that “Silence is golden” – and offer a sympathetic nod or hand pat.